Missing him makes me go crazy and cranky

Its a fucking 3 am in the morning,
I can't keep my eyes shut still,
i can feel something is not rite.
Well I am pissed off at him,
well y wouldn't i be,
10 days away with no single phone call
Gosh it makes me think again
if he truly is the rite person for me?
Now he seems not to care at all..
There goes my wish for the New Year
flushed down the toilet,
I am crying at 3 am in the morning
and for sure that
He might not even care even if I do!!
At this moment I really do have a mixed feeling
missing him like crazy
as well as
hating him like hell!!

Arguments

I'm crying out for HELP,
But there was no one out there who could hear me,
I feel empty,
I feel numb, no one was there to help me
arguments after another arguments,
tend to make things worst,
but again,
like I was all alone, I feel like a THING that no one bother to hold,
bother to care, bother to even look,
I feel so devastated, so weak,
there was no one to turn my back to,
no one that would like to share a shoulder to cry,
I feel like cutting myself again,
just to see if it bleeds,
but that was before,
and now,
things are totally different,
things have change,
it wasn't like before,
I've made a promise to him,
to myself,
as long as I Love him ,
but now it just feel like there is no point of keeping those promises
that I've made,
he doesn't seems to care,
It just feel different,
when there is no one who actually care,
no one who actually want to know,
no one who actually bothers,
I am screaming on top of my lungs
and she who is next to me couldn't even hear it..

Malaysia ku..

Bukan nak kata ape la..tapi lately nie, aku perasan satu perkara yang agak membimbangkan, negara Malaysia kita dah dihuni oleh ramai warganegara bukan Malaysia..macam caca merba pulak bila nak tgk. Contoh yang paling ketara la, pagi nie aku pergi la beriadah kat taman riadah di kawasan berdekatan dengan rumah, Bukan nak kata aku anti dengan orang2 luar nie, tapi agak tak selesa bila dorang pulak yang lebih 'OVER' dari orang Malaysia..pandang kite pun lain macam..naik angin betul aku. aku buat dek je la kan..malas nak layan..yg paling tak boleh bla dorang boleh kutuk2 org Malaysia pakai bahasa Tagalog..dah tu siap pandang jeling2 lagi tu..ish memang tak patut betul..

tak boleh nak dinafikan ramai juga warga asing nie yang baik dan okay, tahu berbudi bahasa.. kalau dah kat negeri org tu kene la pandai bawak diri kan..yang penting, lelaki yang paling aku CINTA juga merupakan warganegara Indonesia, ramai antara rakan2 aku yang tahu dan tidak kisah, tapi juga ada yang membangkang habis-habisan. macam-macam alasan yang dorang utarakan, tapi yang penting hubungan kami sangat suci dan aku dapat lihat keikhlasan die menerima aku. Kalau jodoh kami panjang, insyaallah aku ingin ingin membina masjid bersama dia..Moga2 doa aku dimakbulkan Allah s.w.t.